Dated records of real practice. What was attempted, what was verified, and what was graded inconclusive. Failures included — because a method that never fails isn't a method.
Search for any spiritual teacher online and you'll find the same three things: a photograph, a list of credentials, and a set of testimonials. What you will not find — anywhere — is a record of what actually happened when they tried it themselves, night after night, including the nights it didn't work.
That is the entire value of this page. Every other teacher asks you to trust feeling. We hand you the logbook instead.
How to read these entries. Each night is graded honestly on what was actually retained and verified — not on how meaningful it felt. A vivid experience with nothing checkable in it is graded inconclusive, no matter how beautiful it was. An uneventful night with one verifiable detail scores higher. Some nights are simply rest, and that is recorded as rest.
Personal details, locations and the names of family members have been removed. Everything else is as written on the night.
First fully-retained crossing — every detail carried back and reported at the first waking gap rather than lost on standing up. Scene: a forest trail, a companion who appeared as a family member in a pink dress, a child joining and taking my hand, the trail becoming a dirt road. Asked aloud where the others were; a voice answered, close and immediate, that she was right there and had been the whole time.
Continued to a city of machines and a library that felt regal and rich. Woke to neck discomfort — the posture problem, not the method.
Findings: Seated easy-pose = cleanest entry and sharpest recall, probably from two decades of conditioned stillness in that exact posture. A reclined position is more comfortable but the body reads it as sleep and consciousness is lost. Reporting immediately on waking is what preserved the record — the detail evaporates within a minute otherwise.
Rather than one long attempt, the night was run as a series of short sorties — project, do one small act, return, record. The format solved a chronic problem: recall degrades with duration, so keeping each crossing brief kept the record clean.
Every visit occurred at the same physical location — the house, the driveway, the car. Not chosen; simply where the crossings went. Which makes it usable as a testing ground, since the waking world can confirm the layout.
The significant result: approached by hostile figures. Spoke the pre-decided anchor word aloud — chosen before sleep, without hesitation, exactly as trained — and they stopped, calmed, and left. The pre-decision held at the precise moment where there is no time to think.
Findings: The anchor works in the field, not just in theory. Short crossings retain more than long ones. Physical soreness the following morning, comparable to hard exercise, was noted for the first time — the body keeps some record of the work.
Everything was correct: on time, the full pre-decision set, the prayer, the report book open. Nothing was retained. Not a fragment.
Reading: Kardec addresses this directly — the spirit does not always retain what it has seen, and the memory can be withheld as readily as given. It is recorded here as an inconclusive night, not a failed one, because there is nothing to grade in either direction. Some nights are rest, and rest counts.
Five brief crossings, recall held on each. All of them occurred in and around a working life — machines of the exact type handled in the day job, service counters, small adjustments being made to equipment that does not exist in the waking world. The settings were not chosen.
Reading: instruction appears to be delivered in the vocabulary the student already speaks. A man who repairs machines at work is met with machines. This is recorded as an observation, not a conclusion.
Following several consecutive weeks of excessive working hours, the attempt ended in immediate sleep. No crossing occurred, and therefore nothing was verified either way.
Reading: A report of presence during the night, but no retained crossing to grade. Recorded as inconclusive rather than failed — a recall test cannot be failed if no crossing took place. The lesson drawn was structural: sessions are being run on the same body that has just finished a long day's work, and the practice that suffers first when life is heavy is always the one that runs on a tired instrument.
It is not proof that any of it is real. It is proof that we are keeping score — and that we will show you the score even when it's zero. You are welcome to hold us to every line of it, and to ask us about any entry we publish.
If you're doing your own practice, keep your own log. It is, by a wide margin, the single most useful thing a student of this can do.